Soap's Sorrow
by RagingDemon2011
Summary: After the six day conflict in Russia, Soap is finally able to come back home, safe and sound. However, the memories of his dead comrades is something he'll never forget, and his internal wounds will take time to recover...
1. Prolouge

_**Hey guys, I'm HeroOfDarkness2005 and if you have read my F.E.A.R. fan fictions you might know me very well. Now if you're one of my fellow readers, my explanation of not updating my other stories so often was because I've been playing Call of Duty 4 non-stop because this game is freaking awesome. I loved the multiplayer and even managed to beat almost every single level on Veteran (except the levels "One Shot, One Kill" and "No Fighting in the War Room").**_

_**Anyways, this story is set after the six day global conflict, and how Soap coaps with his problems. Enjoy.**_

**Prolouge**

John Soap Mactavish had been incapitated thanks to the hind breaking down the bridge. Everyone else, except for Staff Sergeant Griggs from the USMC were now unable to move. The British soldier tried to move away from the crossfire, but his damaged body had prevented him from doing so. To make matters worse, the car was on fire, and would explode any minute.

Griggs, noticing this, pulled Soap away to safety, and shot back at the enemy with his side arm. After they were at a safe distance from the burning car, he pulled out his machine gun and fired back as many rounds as he could. Unfortunately, however, before he could go trigger happy on his gun, he shot on the throat by one of the Russian Ultranationalist rebels.

Soap turned his head towards Captain Ben Price, who was unable to move. However, his face expression showed hints of shock and fear of what he saw.

When Soap turned to where Price was staring at, he, too, was also shocked to see Imran Zakhaev, coming to dispose of any survivors from the attack. He first noticed Gaz, trying to stand back up to his feet. Before he could lift his head up any further, the Russian leader had shot him in the head with his gun, while his bodyguards shot other two S.A.S. recruits as well.

He saw Zakhaev coming towards him. Soap just wanted to move away from this man, because he was about to do just the same thing he did to Gaz. Soap thought things were going to end this way… he wondered if this is the way everything would end…

Unexpectedly, however, the enemy hind was shot down by Kamrov's Russian Loyalist forces. The three men that were in front of Soap were focused on the enemy helicopter that just happened to arrive to attack.

Soap suddenly heard some "clack sounds" from his left side. He turned, and saw Captain Price sliding his side arm to Soap. The sergeant finally knew what Price was wanting to do, and what he wanted Soap to do.

MacTavish aimed high, and shot the two body guards at first to their heads. The bullets pierced through their brain, leaving only Imran Zakhaev himself. He turned around and tried to return fire towards Soap as well, but before he pressed the trigger, the next thing the Russian Ultranationalist leader could feel was a quick, sudden pain that went through his intestines.

Soap couldn't believe it… he killed the one man that was behind it all. The one man that had killed hundreds upon hundreds of innocents people and brave soldiers that fought in the battlefield. He did something that Captain Price couldn't have done fifteen years ago. He killed Imran Zakhaev.

The Russian Loyalist forces arrived for Soap's aid, and Kamrov and his men searched around the bridge for survivors. When the Russian sergeant noticed Soap breathing, he shouted "We got a survivor here!" in Russian (I wanted to write that quote in actual Russian, but I can't with this computer and keyboard) and called in for medevac.

"You're going to be alright, my friend!" Kamrov had told the British soldier… no, the British hero as he called in the chopper to airlift him to safety. Soap looked at the chopper, and he was finally coming back home. Just as he was being airlifted, one of the Russian soldiers that was under Kamrov's command desperately tried to resuscitate Captain Price.

Although Soap was glad that he was still alive, he felt much more remorseful for his comrades who had sacrificed their lives to save him. He wanted to leave with someone that was still alive, someone that had helped him so much throughout the six days of fighting he had to go through. If Captain Price lived, his wish would have at least been fulfilled. He wanted at least one survivor to go back home with him.

Moreover, Gaz had been also a great help to Soap. He was someone that he felt the closest to, even though he had only known him for six days. He had provided him with so much assistance during his training as well, and it was his bravery that inspired Soap to gain courage as well.

Staff Sergeant Griggs had died just to save Soap. He could've rescued Captain Price, who probably wouldn't have had as much chance of survival as Soap did since he was much older. He pulled him to safety from the car that could have vaporized him off the spot. He even protected him for a little bit by giving him covering fire before he had been shot down.

Soap couldn't tell whether he should be happy or sad, but whichever feeling he had, he knew he was coming back home.

_**To Be continued…**_

_**I'll write the next chapter tomorrow. By the way, I forgot to mention the story will only be four chapters long (or at most four chapters). That is EXCLUDING the prologue, however. I know this was really short, but I'll try to make the next chapter longer. Until then, R&R!**_


	2. Returning Home

_**Alright, so I promised you guys with a longer chapter and here it is!**_

**Chapter 1: Returning Home**

* * *

The next place Soap had woken up from was in a plain, white room made of brick walls and tiled floor and ceiling. He could still feel the sharp pain from what happened during the battle on the bridge, making him wish that he was still asleep so he would not have to know how much it had hurt. His was wearing a hospital gown instead of his armour, which explained why his tarso felt so much different. His cuts have been stitched, and the wounds were covered up in white bandages.

The hospital bed had felt extremely comfortable. It was six days since he ever felt anything this comfy. He had to sleep on grass while he was in the Middle East trying to look for Al-Asad. Sleeping on the grass wasn't always too bad, but he had times when bugs crawled on top his face and even nearly went into his mouth. But nonetheless, sleeping on grass would never be as comfortable as sleeping on a mattress.f

He turned his head to his left and saw that on the bed next to his laid Captain Ben Price, who was still unconscious since the battle that happened a few… days or even weeks ago. Thinking about the time suddenly helped him remember how he lost track of time since he was airlifted from the battlefield. He knew that he was going to find out how long he was in the hospital though.

Looking back at the sleeping Captain Price again, he realized how badly wounded he was. By looking at him, Soap began to realize that he had to be somewhat thankful that he had less injuries compared to the captain. Price had cast wrapped around just about every part of his body, asides from his face. His leg also hung on the holder as well, showing that he broke his bones as well. At his age, recovering from such wounds would take a very long time. However, adding the amount of hits he took from the other battles would mean that he had slim chances of survival.

At least Captain Price had some chances of survival… even a slim chance still meant a chance to Soap… but everyone else that was in his squad had died. Gaz and Griggs had perished right in front of his eyes.

Before he could think any further, he heard the door opening up and there he saw a nurse coming into his room. She was just about to take a look at Captain Price's current condition, but when saw Soap's eyes opened, she was surprised. Surprised in a good way, because she put up a smile afterwards. Soap just gave a small smile back. He couldn't believe that this was the first time he gave a smile to _anyone_ since he had gone to the Middle East.

"Glad to see you awake, Sergeant MacTavish." The nurse said, approaching him and decided to look at how he was holding up.

"How long have I been here?" Soap wondered.

"Two days ago, sir… but it took around three days to get you back to London, so you were out for nearly a week."

Soap had just realized that the nurse was speaking in English accent, not Russian. He probably had been thinking so much to the point that he forgot the woman was British.

"I see…" Soap managed to mutter out, but suddenly he began a new topic by pointing his thumb towards Captain Price, "How will Captain Price be doing?"

"Well… his vital organs have been damaged severely thanks to the bullets he took… and when he checked him out his body was filled with cuts, bruises, and even broken bones. Some of the cuts were also infected… so we're not sure if he could live…"

The nurse realized that she had accidentally said something that could hurt the patient that had just woken up. She shouldn't have told him that he had slim chances of survival. But then again, as a nurse, she couldn't lie. Still, she felt bad enough that she mentally kicked herself for being thoughtless and apologized, "I'm… sorry sir."

"It means nothing, maim. I was just curious." Soap answered her apology, without hints of despondency and sorrow. He normally didn't put false images of himself, or at least how he felt. However, at this point he had to show hope to not only himself, but to the staff at the hospital as well.

"Nurse Parker?" A masculine voice called.

Soap and the nurse turned their head towards the person that called them. The doctor came in, and was too, surprised to see Soap was awake.

"Good morning, Sergeant MacTavish. How are you feeling right now?" The doctor had asked him.

"Never been better, sir." Soap replied, giving him a smile.

"That's good news… it's great to see you recovering. However, I still think it would be a good idea if you stayed here for one more day." The doctor said, also smiling.

"Not a problem for me, doctor… I'm just glad I'm back home."

The doctor nodded, "Your check up will be at 2 PM… until then, we'll bring in something to eat. I could tell that you haven't eaten much for almost a week."

The word "eat" had just made Soap hungry. The thought of eating mere sandwiches and watermelons had resulted in him famishing. Soap nodded immediately as his hunger kicked in, and the doctor looked at the nurse, and asked her to get him something to satisfy his hunger. She nodded and headed out of the room.

"That would be lovely" was all Soap could say.

The doctor let out a small laugh, then turned to leave the room as he said, "if you need me just press that switch over there. I have to look over other patients as well."

Soap nodded, and laid his head back on his pillow. He needed sometime to rest.

He remembered everything that happened six days ago. When he first entered the S.A.S. forces, he remembered Gaz giving him advice in combat that he would never have forgotten. The tactics Gaz used in battle was what Soap had begun to use, and even became accustomed to them. If it wasn't for him, Soap would definitely have been nothing but a rotting corpse that was waiting for vultures to come and eat his remains.

His other British comrades that fell before him made Soap feel as if he had luck or something. But he also thought that his good luck brought bad omens to people around him. He never believed in luck, but every time someone happened to save Soap, they ended up dead. An example would have been the helicopter accident that happened after saving Nicolai, the man responsible for giving his team the Intel on the cargo ship operation. They risked their lives in bringing Price and his two greatest soldiers to safety.

Griggs also saved his life. He remembered this again, and he wanted the memories to just leave him alone. He had admit though, Griggs have sacrificed his life just for him. Captain Price had also gave his side arm to Soap. He probably felt he couldn't do it, and thought Soap was their only hope in survival.

The whole mission was one hell of a jam. Soap believed that he could deal with just about anything in this world. He had experience with rifles and fire fights even before his entry in the S.A.S, where he dealt with arm smugglers, robbery, drug dealers, just about anything. He thought the same during his first mission on the cargo ship mission, but as he gradually became more and more involved in the Russian conflict, he realized how big of a far cry this war was for him.

He just wanted to leave everything aside for now. He wanted to let the past be the past, and he had to get over it somehow. He had to put all the tragedies behind. At this moment, however, doing so would have been tough. He even had his own pain to worry about as well, which would remind him of the fighting that occurred during the conflict.

He looked at Captain Price again. Then out at the window. The aged man was either going to be stepping on the faces of the Earth, or be a flying angel that would be soaring through the seas of freedom.

Nurse Parker came back into the room again, with a bowl of veggie soup on a tray. She brought up a small table in front of where he was lying on, and put the soup and his spoon there.

"Thank you." Soap muttered out as he grabbed the spoon and began eating.

The nurse nodded and left the room, but not before she closed the blinds just so the sunlight would stop hurting his eyes. She was practically being a mother figure of some sort; a mother who would bring a bowl of soup to her son's bedroom when he was sick, and would close the blinds to let him sleep better. He felt like a little baby just because he couldn't do anything while on a hospital bed, with his body filled with injuries and wounds.

Such feelings had made him feel even more hopeless. Without his comrades, he had no idea if he could do things on his own while he was still part of the team. The two men that he had worked with were the reason why Soap was still alive. One of them had died, and other was either dying or recovering.

Soap let go of the thought, however.

_Knock it off, MacTavish. You had your experiences now, you should know what you're doing by now._ He thought as he mentally kicked himself.

With that, he decided to sleep a little longer… or at least a little more before the doctor needed him.

* * *

It was 1:30 PM… Soap had woken up when the doctor came in to remind him of the check up. They put him on a gurneyf and brought him to the examination room. They tested if he could move, see clearly, hear clearly, tested his heart rate, and many more. The doctors decided that it was okay for him to get out of the hospital, but not before tomorrow came. They had to keep him here just in case something bad would happen.

Soap didn't really _hate_ being in the hospital. Of course, it wasn't the best place in the world to be in either. One thing he did like was that it gave him great news that he was still alive. Being anywhere but in the hospital would definitely would have meant that he was dead, or was about to be dead. What he definitely did not like was how he was constrained from the outside world, and brought painful memories as well. Seeing the injured Captain Price had made him feel rather hopeless for what was coming up next. He knew the future itself wasn't hopeless, because he knew that a certain event will make his life full of optimism again.

Once he came back to his hospital bed that he was on earlier, he was completely bored to death. He wanted to go back home and rest on his bedroom, not in a hospital room. He wanted to watch the news to see what happened in London, or anywhere else in the world while he was gone. Most importantly, after coming back home he could go up to his phone and call his fiancé that he came back home at last.

Hospital was something of a paradise prison to him. He was alive and well, but was forced to be in the hospital before he gets to come out.

He then looked back at Captain Price, who was still resting. At least he wasn't resting _in peace_, but resting nonetheless. He thought that telling his wife and his children and their nephews and nieces would give them good news or bad news. The good news would be that he was back in London, and may have chances of survival. The bad news would have been that he was severely injured and some of his body functions may not work properly.

But telling which of the two depended on his chances of survival.

Soap decided to relax… he didn't want to think about his comrades. Not while he was injured both inside and outside. He thought maybe a break would do for him, because he, himself, thought he needed one. If only one of his superiors have given him permission, then things would've been much better for him.

Of course, in his line of work things couldn't have been that easy.

When he had never expected this, the nurse came in with people that he knew clearly, without having to think he knew who they were.

"Mister MacTavish, your brother and his family wanted to see you."

Ralph MacTavish came in with his wife and three kids. They approached Soap and were extremely happy to see he was safe and sound.

"John! I'm so glad to see you alive!" He exclaimed, as his kids ran up to hug their uncle. Soap returned the embrace to all three of them as best as they could, and after they were done the mother gently brought the kids back to the ground, telling that their uncle needed to rest.

"Yeah… it's been bloody rough. How have you been doing?" Soap asked his older brother.

"Like a million bucks… just to find out you're okay."

"John, we made some cookies for you… hope you can eat them when you come back home." Lily MacTavish said, as she handed him a box of cookies.

"Lovely. Thank you very much." Soap replied, as he accepted her box of cookies. The children smiled at him, showing him how hard the kids worked with their mother to bake these cookies for their uncle.

"So Soap… how was it when you were fighting there?" Ralph enquired, sitting on a chair nearby.

"It was a bloody nightmare. This mission was just worse than I thought." Soap answered him, leaning back on his pillow while facing his relatives.

"Want to tell us about it?"

Soap didn't want to explain the full story, but he decided to tell them a few things that happened. How he barely managed to escape from the cargo ship operation, surviving a helicopter crash, falling down from a tower that was about five meters up from the ground, the cold weather made him nearly sick, and even getting paralyzed at one point. He even told them how he was on the brink of death when Imran Zakhaev saw him and was about to shoot him, but his luck saved him. He then pointed out that the luck came from the man whose bed was beside his, and told them he was Captain Price.

The few things Soap never told them was about how Gaz and Griggs sacrificed their lives to save him. Muttering the words out meant that the memories could haunt him again. He never wanted to even to talk about it to his brother and his family. The entire story took about twenty minutes to tell.

"Must've been bad for you… I should buy you dinner some day." Ralph had replied after Soap finished.

"No, it's on me. I probably made you worry." Soap laughed, wanting to make the mood in the room better.

"Oh come on, brother! There's nothing for you to owe me! Besides, we planned on buying you something to eat when we heard the news about you coming back." Ralph explained.

Soap could not believe how much his brother cared for him. He was glad he had a thoughtful brother like Ralph, and though he for some reason felt rather guilty for accepting the offer, he did so anyway. He had no desire to argue with his brother.

"Alright… I'll come with you."

Just as Ralph nodded, the nurse came in and told them their time was up. The family said their good byes to Soap and they left.

Then Soap drifted back to sleep, wanting to rest more before tomorrow came. He had much to do the next day.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**

_**My god… when I wrote this I realized how much more dynamic of a character I was making out of Soap. In the game itself he's merely depicted as Sergeant Soap MacTavish, who fights badass mother fuckers to protect his country. Well, I made him more than just that. Next chapter things will be much more dramatic and saddening, so stay tuned!**_


	3. The Family Who Cried

_**Guys, please forgive me for the late update. I've been on a tour in Japan, but I wrote this chapter by hand when I was in the hotel. Unfortunately because I was just too friggin' busy playing Call of Duty 4 online after I came back (damn this game is addicting), I totally forgot to update this story. I literally played this game fifteen hours straight without a bathroom break or anything like that. So yes, go ahead and say I'm retarded for doing such a ridiculous thing. Anyways here is the chapter and enjoy.**_

**Chapter 2: The Family Who Cried**

The last thing Sergeant MacTavish had in mind was having breakfast for the beginning of a whole new day. Having something to eat early in the morning would have been nice, but he was a bird that wanted to spread his wings; a bird that was waiting to fly out of its cage. He wanted to face the freedom that was ahead, waiting for him. However, he never failed to realize that the break would only last for a few days, or possibly weeks.

The easy part of the day was signing out his new medication pills and forms that confirmed his release. Afterwards, he found a phone booth in the hospital and decided to call his superiors. He hoped that his question would result in a yes, or anything that would make him lighten up a little.

Only a little bit though, because he had his comrades to think about.

Of course, in the real world not everything was easy. They say every could has a silver lining, but the reverse could sometimes happen. But holding his breath for any answer that could pop out of the phone, he picked up the receiver and dialed the number to the S.A.S. office. He heard the phone ring once… twice… then came three…

Click.

"S.A.S. 22nd division office, if you are a S.A.S. personnel, press 1 and identify yourself by your name and your code word. If you are anyone that has no history or association with the S.A.S., press 2." The voice message had spoken.

"This is Sergeant John MacTavish, code word Soap."

"Confirmed as Sergeant John MacTavish. Who do you wish to speak to? We have the following available; Sir MacMillan, Sir May, or Colonel Parker?"

It took a while for Soap to reply, but he reluctantly answered, "Sir MacMillan"

"Confirmed. Please wait."

Sir MacMillan was once Captain MacMillan. He was now nothing more than the coordinator that gathered enemy Intel, or decode any that the team had gathered. His legs were no longer mobile and he was forced to be on a wheelchair for the rest of his life. The story Price had told him explained why he was never able to walk; he was injured when an enemy helicopter nearly landed on him.

Soap had waited as the phone turned into complete silence, until sound of breathing came into the receiver.

"This is Albert MacMillan speaking."

"Sir, it's me, MacTavish."

"Good to hear from you, mate. We thought you were a goner, but glad you made it. I'll have to talk to you in person however, just to let me know what happened while you were out there. Where's your current location, Sergeant?"

"Bishop Auckland General Hospital, sir."

"Roger that. Transport will be there in a few minutes, so hold on. I'll see you later, out."

With that, he hung up and Soap put the receiver back. At least he didn't hear the answer he didn't want to hear at all.

* * *

Letting all this aside, Soap decided to kill some time off by going to the lounge and get a cup of coffee from a vending machine. Maybe he could see the T.V there and watch the news just to see what he missed. Being conveniently close to the foyer, he walked into the lounge and inserted a quarter to the machine. Instantly a white cup came out, and then came the coffee that poured into the cup. After it was filled he put some sugar into it and walked back to the foyer and took a sip.

As he walked, however, he heard an old woman, a young woman, a young man, and about three kids in front of the reception desk.

"I'm here to look for Ben Price… and I'm his wife with his children and grand children." The old woman said.

As soon as he heard that, he had no idea whether he should've went up to her and tell her how the captain was. He didn't know whether he should let them be or actually tell them how bad someone that meant so much to them was suffering.

"He's at 8th floor, room 815. I can only let you see him for 20 minutes, however… because we'll be running an operation for him." The receptionist explained.

An operation? Did Captain Price's conditions turn worse?

Soap now had to check up on him as well, since there was still time before the pick up came for him. Having Captain Price die was something Soap never wanted to see, since the man that had saved his life had to live for him… him dying would lead to so much guilt for him.

Unfortunately however, when he was about to take the elevator, Price's family had already went up so Soap had to wait a little bit. It was a good thing, however; if he followed the family all the way to Captain Price's room, they would have been a little… suspicious with him. Suspicion wouldn't be the word, but it was close enough for them to think of him differently.

Another elevator came to the lobby, and Soap got on to it. He pushed 8 and as he ascended, he began to remember all the battles he had assisted Captain Price with. Sure, he was a little harsh at times, teasing him about his name as "Soap". But he helped him by catching him on the helicopter when he had to jump on it during the cargo ship operation. He even helped him stand up his feet when the ship was about to sink, too.

Soap thought he should give up hope on Captain Price's survival. It was too slim… he had sustained much more injuries than anyone in the battlefield, and add that when the Russian loyalist tried to resuscitate him, he hadn't even woken up. Maybe a small bit of pulse went through his blood, but he thought that soon it would turn from small to none.

Then again, even small pulse could have meant a little bit of chance.

* * *

The elevator came to his destination and he walked to room 815, and was just about to open the door. What would he have to tell his family? How could he explain the captain's situation and condition?

He heard sobbing and yelling, "Ben, wake up!" and the younger ones crying because their grandpa was suffering… or even dying.

He decided to knock on the door, and the room turned a little more quiet. He heard footsteps coming closer and louder, and the old woman opened the door. Her eyes were red and so was her face. As soon as he saw that, he wished he hadn't even come at all, but it was too late to regret.

"May I… help you?" The old woman asked, with hints of sorrow in her voice.

"Umm… you must be… Mrs. Price, yes?" Soap had asked.

"Yes… that's correct."

"Umm… my name is John MacTavish… I knew your husband and fought with him in Russia."

Mrs. Price's looked a little surprised… just a little bit. She was too busy with her husband's safety to show surprise for a young man who had helped her husband in battle.

"Please come in."

* * *

Soap came into the room, and saw Mrs. Price's children and their children's children sobbing. The husband of Captain Price's daughter just looked extremely sad and sighed. As he approached him, they turned their attention to him.

"Everyone… this is Mr. MacTavish… he knew your father… grandfather… and had assisted him in battle…" Mrs. Price introduced.

"Umm…" Soap couldn't let words out.

"Tell me… is he going to be okay? What happened to him?" The daughter of Captain Price questioned.

"He… sustained a lot of bullet wounds… and was incapacitated when a bridge broke." Soap explained reluctantly, because he just couldn't tell the family the truth, "we… tried giving him CPR just to see if he can breath again… but no one was successful in helping him wake up."

The family had looked much more sad now, and was on the brink of crying again. Seeing the tears had made Soap regret telling them everything. Lying however would've been much worse…

"He saved my life many times… he was a brave man with a heart full of determination… he was proud and… before he was injured he told me how he wanted to see his family." Soap continued.

He was about to say that he sacrificed his life to save him as well, but telling them that would make them feel even worse. They already felt the worst for the worst, but telling them the absolute truth would cause devastation.

The family didn't know what to say now. They were utterly shocked, and sorrow had overwhelmed them. They began to cry again… something Soap did not want to see them do, or possibly have them do. He thought it was his fault… for telling them what happened. He was to blame for telling them when they felt bad as they were… but then again they wouldn't feel any better if he told them after his death.

"I'm… so sorry." Soap softly answered to their crying. He could feel some tears coming out, but he held them back as best as he could.

"No sir… we want to thank you… for watching over Ben. I knew that if it wasn't for you, he wouldn't even have ended up in here…" The elder Mrs. Price sobbed a little louder, and Soap bit his lips in guilt.

* * *

20 minutes have passed, and Soap and the Price family were asked to leave the room. The grand children of Captain Price went to a playground that was in the backyard of the hospital, while Soap, the elder Mrs. Price, the daughter of Mrs. Price and her husband were at the lounge. Since Soap felt really bad for making the family feel morose, he bought all of them a cup of coffee each. Though they initially rejected the offer, Soap absolutely insisted that he would buy them some and they were forced to accept his offer.

"Ben and I were married for over 30 years…" She sighed, looking down at her cup of coffee, "we had so much memories since our youth… but ever since he joined the S.A.S., he became a little more distant from me and his family…"

Soap couldn't reply to what she had just said. He felt a little guilty for not trying to save his life… but then again there was nothing he could do about it. The operation could increase his chances of survival… and may have brought hope for the family.

"When Alyssa was only a little girl, I remember Ben always reading her bed time stories and walking around the park with her and our family dog. I enjoyed the laughter they shared when he would push her swing in the park… but when he was tasked to fight, we thought those days have come to an end…"

Assuming Alyssa was the daughter, he saw her looking down, and her husband embraced her.

"I… I'm very sorry for you, maim… and you too, Mrs… umm…" Soap had yet to figure out the wife's actual last name; since she was a female, she would have her husband's last name instead of "Price".

"Plant." She replied.

"Yes… Mrs. Plant… again, he saved my life many times in the past 6 days… if there was a way to repay him, I… I would do anything he asked me to." Soap added.

"The memories that I know of him back then are already precious to me… because I was extremely happy and proud for him to be my father. He even supported me here and there after my marriage with Jimmy. He… he…"

She couldn't say anymore. She just started crying again, and Soap couldn't say anything… he wanted to say something to help her feel better, but he couldn't find the right words. His husband hugged her again, and her head was sunk into his chest.

Soap had never hurt a whole family before. Ever. He mentally kicked himself for hurting an entire family, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He considered himself insensitive. He, again, began to regret bringing the entire topic to the whole family, or even talking to them to begin with.

They would've felt sad anyway, whether he was there or not. If he didn't visit them, however, Soap wouldn't have to worry about the guilt, which would instantly make him regard himself selfish.

"We'll have to get going now… thank you Mr. MacTavish… both for telling us about Ben and the coffee…" she sadly said, and the family stood up from the table.

"It was nice to meet you, Mr. MacTavish." Jimmy offered him a hand for handshake.

Soap accepted, "you too, sir."

They then went to the playground to call their kids and left the hospital, and Soap felt an aura of sorrow and sadness within them.

* * *

The thought of Captain Price had come numerous amount of times. He saved him during the cargo ship operation, shot a wild Russian dog that tried to pounce on him, gave him covering fire against the helicopter when Soap tried to destroy it with the Stinger missile, and most important of all giving him the hand gun when they were trapped in the bridge to shoot Zakhaev.

The S.A.S. transport that came to pick him up arrived. He turned and saw two S.A.S. personnel calling him over, and Soap walked to their direction, took a seat, and was waiting, or hoping for a good answer from MacMillan.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

_**A few pointers I like to mention. This story is actually PARTIALLY inspired by "Aftermath" fan fiction (another Call of Duty fan fiction), but not entirely copied off, so don't sue/report/flame me please. If I copied the whole damn thing I wouldn't have written the prologue or went into detail to talk about Soap's family.**_

_**Also the last name for Alyssa "Plant" is a reference to the British rocker Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin. Jimmy's first name is also a reference to Led Zeppelin, the guitarist Jimmy Page. Because this story is set in UK, and Led Zeppelin is a British band, I decided to make a few references here. LED ZEPPELIN FOR THE WIN!**_

_**Anyways, if you'll excuse me, I gotta play Call of Duty 4 multiplayer again. This game is just fucking awesome.**_


	4. London Calling

_**FINALLY! I'm able to update again! Sorry guys, but school life gets in the way. I'm in grade 12 right now, which, in other words, means that this is my final year in high school and I need to work really hard to get into university. Since the holidays are here however, I'm back once and for all and here I am to update.**_

_**Now I did write this actually in the beginning of December, but during air cadets I dislocated my shoulder and wasn't able to edit and post, so please forgive me. I'm fine now and that's all that matters, so enjoy!**_

* * *

**Chapter 3: London Calling**

The ride to the S.A.S. office building helped him relax just a little bit. There was enough pressure from disappointing a family so the best he could do was relax and talk this over with his superiors. Whether MacMillan would allow him to get a break or not, he knew at least he would have the privilege to go home and rest for a while.

Soap took a look outside. The people walking around the streets, whether they were adults and children, rich or poor, they should have been thankful that they never gone through the amount of hell he has gone through for the past few days. He smelled like crap after running on all that dirt, having dogs jump on him, and worst of all having blood stains all over him. At least the hospital patched him up, and all he needed to do was just to go home and take a shower. Then he would fix himself a nice meal for dinner, pop in a copy of a movie… whatever would help him sleep at night and help him get over this whole incident.

"We're here," one of the officials announced.

Soap nodded and opened the car, lowering his head as he got out of the car. He closed and made sure he did so properly. He then turned to the escorts and said, "Thanks mate. I'll take it from here."

Despite being an office building, he felt the chills crawling down his spine. Normally walking into this hallway didn't bother him, but having to tell him everything about Captain Price and his company would be one hell of a talk to go through. Or maybe it was just because this was the first time walking here alone. For a place where all office work would occur, the entire building seemed almost deserted. That's what also made him feel somewhat uncomfortable.

Eventually he reached MacMillan's office, but at the moment he touched the doorknob, he became quite hesitant to go in. Obviously it was too late for him, since by laying his hand on the doorknob the sound of a door opening was heard. He could hear MacMillan say from the other side, "enter".

Eventually opening the door, Soap approached MacMillan's desk as he extended a hand for a handshake, "Good to see you mate, have a seat."

"Good to see you too sir…"

Soap sat down on the chair, and so did MacMillan. He looked at him going through some files and getting his pen ready, and asked, "Now tell me lad, what happened while you were at Azerbaijan?"

Soap had explained everything, just like how he explained everything to his family and the Price family. Gaz's execution, Zakeav's elimination, Price's sacrifice, Al Asad's execution, everything. He didn't leave even one bit of what happened. That even included how Price told him about what happened 15 years ago.

"So… in the end, you were the only one, from what we know, that came back here alive?" MacMillan asked, as he still wrote on his paper. He didn't bother looking up at Soap.

"Yes sir… unless if Captain Price has a chance of surviving." He answered, "and I hope he does sir."

"Soap," MacMillan began, as Soap was unable to figure out whether MacMillan heard what he added, "pray that this may not happen, but if Price dies…"

Soap could feel what was going to come out, and he had predicted this already long time ago.

"I want you to take his position as the new captain in the 22nd regiment."

Even though that may have sounded somewhat unrealistic, the possibility was there, due to the fact that he and _maybe_ Price were the only survivors in this battle.

"I'd be honoured sir," was all Soap could say.

"Lad, Gaz has told me many good things about you. I'm willing to trust you in leading the S.A.S. team to victory when another conflict like this happens again."

Gaz had told a lot of things about him, and that was just another reason why Soap was happy yet sad to lose a good friend.

"I'll do my best sir."

"Good to hear," MacMillan added, "You better go home and rest up. I'll give you two weeks off. You definitely deserve it, mate."

Hearing that statement felt like angels singing in his ears, and Soap smiled and bowed thanks to MacMillan, and shook hands with him once again and left the building.

* * *

Leaving the office finally made Soap realize why he was uncomfortable earlier. He was afraid to tell MacMillan the critical condition of Price, because then MacMillan would be quite upset. He's saddened people enough already, but he had to tell the truth, because then he'd be fired. Big time.

As he headed towards the parking lot, he began to wonder exactly why he was looking forward to having a break so much. It would have been relaxing than actually working or fighting, but what bothered him was how exactly he was going to relax with all this pain that dwelled within him. That basically meant that the break was completely unnecessary.

Then again, working with just as much amount of stress wouldn't help either.

Shaking it off his head, he walked towards the garage through the stairs and found his Volkswagen sitting on the parking lot, just the way he left it before he went to Russia. He got out his car keys that he still managed to be in his pocket. He wondered how he went through this entire war without losing the bloody thing.

_It's a bloody crazed world._

The words went through Soap's head as he opened the car and began the ignition, ready to head back home. Rather than to listen to the radio, he popped in his CD copy of Queen's "Made in Heaven" and inserted it to the music player. The music began to play as he drove his way out of the parking lot.

He allowed the music to sooth in his ears, and drove around the streets of London. People walking around the city lived perfectly normal lives, unlike Soap. Sure, his military services paid off and allowed him to have a really nice house, and even have a woman that he was about to marry. Some people may not even have whatever he had, but still, having to fight a whole battalion of armed men was a far cry from what most people have done. These people, whether they were rich or not, were all blessed.

_I could say this a million times to myself, and I still wouldn't be able to forget about these events._

It was true. He wanted to be normal. He had joined S.A.S. after being recruited for his special combat skills in armed combat, although originally he was a mere police officer. Until he ranked the highest in the office, the majesty of Britain had finally chosen him to fight for the government of England. No, not just England. England and its fellow countries, which meant the United States of North America, and virtually by helping USA he was helping other countries that gained support from America. That could mean Japan, Korea, Thailand, France, Germany, and even England itself.

* * *

After about an hour and a half of driving, he finally reached the one place he missed the most for the past few days. His home.

_Home, sweet home._

Right from the exterior the house looked ordinary, maybe just slightly bigger. His garage was large enough to fill in two cars, but he decided to use half the space as the parking garage and the other half as a weight room.

As he pushed the button on his car the garage door slid up and began to open. As it was opening he slowly drove himself in and lined up the car perfectly in the garage. He soon stopped the ignition, turned the engine off completely and opened the door. He looked at the garage and saw how messy it was, yet it was just the way he left it. At least inside the house wouldn't be as bad.

He closed the garage door and opened the door that led him to his house, and he quickly turned off the alarm system in his house. The house was just the way he had predicted to be; it was the way it was before.

He soon walked up to his bedroom, and took off his clothes. He took a good look at the bandages and found out how well the recovery process was doing. Smiling it off, he put on his regular house clothing and laid down on his bed, trying to relax his head. The one thing he needed at this time was just a simple, relaxing time at his own, sweet, comfortable home.

**To be concluded…**

_**Yes, I said to be CONCLUDED. The next chapter will be the last, and I'm gonna write it right now. Later guys.**_


	5. Final Chapter

_**Alright, this is the last chapter of my Call of Duty fanfic. You probably haven't seen what's gonna happen in this story coming, so please keep reading!**_

**Final Chapter**

* * *

_John Soap Mactavish had been incapitated thanks to the hind breaking down the bridge. Everyone else, except for Staff Sergeant Griggs from the USMC were now unable to move. The British soldier tried to move away from the crossfire, but his damaged body had prevented him from doing so. To make matters worse, the car was on fire, and would explode any minute._

_Griggs, noticing this, pulled Soap away to safety, and shot back at the enemy with his side arm. After they were at a safe distance from the burning car, he pulled out his machine gun and fired back as many rounds as he could. Unfortunately, however, before he could go trigger happy on his gun, he shot on the throat by one of the Russian Ultranationalist rebels._

_Soap turned his head towards Captain Ben Price, who was unable to move. However, his face expression showed hints of shock and fear of what he saw._

_When Soap turned to where Price was staring at, he, too, was also shocked to see Imran Zakhaev, coming to dispose of any survivors from the attack. He first noticed Gaz, trying to stand back up to his feet. Before he could lift his head up any further, the Russian leader had shot him in the head with his gun, while his bodyguards shot other two S.A.S. recruits as well._

_He saw Zakhaev coming towards him. Soap just wanted to move away from this man, because he was about to do just the same thing he did to Gaz. Soap thought things were going to end this way… he wondered if this is the way everything would end…_

_Unexpectedly, however, the enemy hind was shot down by Kamrov's Russian Loyalist forces. The three men that were in front of Soap were focused on the enemy helicopter that just happened to arrive to attack._

_Soap suddenly heard some "clack sounds" from his left side. He turned, and saw Captain Price sliding his side arm to Soap. The sergeant finally knew what Price was wanting to do, and what he wanted Soap to do._

_MacTavish aimed high, and shot the two body guards at first to their heads. The bullets pierced through their brain, leaving only Imran Zakhaev himself. He turned around and tried to return fire towards Soap as well, but before he pressed the trigger, the next thing the Russian Ultranationalist leader could feel was a quick, sudden pain that went through his intestines._

* * *

Soap had woken up from the nightmare he just had.

First it was his mind, and now his own dreams haunted him.

He had realized that his own emotions could not stop him from thinking about what happened during the final battle. The whole ordeal with Al-Asad and Zakeav was already frightening, but having to be thinking about his dead comrades all the time was just too much for him. They died in front of his very eyes, and all he did was receiving compliments. He had never honoured them in such way… at least not verbally.

Shaking it off his head, he turned to the clock and found out what time it was. It read 6:43 PM.

_Bloody hell, me and my damn nightmares._

Rising up from his bed, he had just remembered that he needed a shower thanks to all the smell he was giving himself. However, the taking a bath with the bandages patched up around his tarso would pose a problem. Then again he could always replace them, but the wounds could be serious enough that the bandages would be absolutely necessary for his safety.

He did at least wash his face to get rid of the fatigue. After wiping the remaining water that was on his face with a towel, he walked to the kitchen to get himself some cup of coffee. As he boiled down the water, his phone rang. With only a few seconds of hesitation, he picked up the receiver.

"John MacTavish speaking."

"John! It's me, Linda. I heard you came back, are you alright?"

Hearing his fiancé helped him get rid of the stress, and all he had to hear was her calling his name to help him mentally relax.

"Could've been better, but still in one piece."

"Glad to hear it. So uh… when do you want to go out for tea again?"

"Dunno… maybe after my wounds heal."

"Okay… and… look Josh, I'll I'm talking to my fiancé here, okay? I'll call mum later… Okay okay, can you just quiet down?" Linda scolded, "Sorry John, that was my little brother. Anyways, I'll call you later tonight, I just wanted to check up on you to see how you're doing."

"So you didn't miss me?" John teasingly asked.

"Oh come on! You know me! Just kind of busy right now, but again just wanted to see if you came back."

"Alright… love you."

"Love you too."

As he could hear Linda hanging up, he kissed the receiver in the mouthpiece and put the phone back on. He then poured the hot water on to the coffee powder inside his cup and he stirred. He smelled the scent of his coffee and took a sip. He may have already had coffee this morning but the nightmare that he had experienced took a lot from him, so he thought he might need a boost of energy.

However, all the coffee did was just letting his hunger kick in. For the past few days, all he's been eating were apples and fish. Even though he didn't mind eating them whether they were rotten or not, they definitely wouldn't have tasted better than actual gourmet food. And knowing Soap's situation, he definitely would have deserved some.

_Could've asked MacMillan for some grub in the office._ Soap jokingly thought.

Although initially he decided on going to get something off the fridge, he instead decided to check up on Captain Price at the hospital and eat at the restaurant there. It may cash consuming, but it would definitely have paid off to see how he was doing. He may have visited him already but he just got more and more paranoid about his welfare.

* * *

(EDIT: I originally decided to have a phone call between the hospital receptionist and Soap himself, but thought that it's completely unnecessary so I left it out)

* * *

Driving all the way to the hospital was the easy thing… at least he didn't have to work his muscles to shoot people. He was rather a little paranoid that his condition worsened severely while he was asleep. Maybe not critically, because that would happen possibly days, or weeks, before he would reach that level.

Then again, it was almost a week since he arrived.

After about an hour or so of driving, he had finally reached the parking lot. Although he got out of car and was just about to head into the hospital itself, he saw a man that looked a bit too familiar… and the man seemed to recognize him too.

"Excuse me… do you… happen to be Mr. MacTavish?" The man had asked.

"Yes, that's me… wait… don't you happen to be…" Soap stopped, finally remembering who it was, "the son in law of Captain Price?"

"That's correct… have you come to see him…?"

"Yes I have… how has he been doing?"

"Well… it's hard for me to say it…"

Just by hearing that Soap's hopes had drained, but not completely. He at least wanted to hear he was still alive. Obviously, however, hearing something that bad would mean that death would be inevitable for Price at this point.

"Is he… okay now…?" Soap had let out.

"He's… dead sir."

Dead sir…

_Dead sir…_

_Dead…_

The words echoed through Soap's ears, and he felt as if his spirits have finally shrunk to the underworld.

"No… you're…you're not serious, are you?" Soap managed to let out.

"It's hard to believe… he only died just twenty minutes ago, after his heart failed…"

Twenty minutes ago… Soap had just made it only moments after his death.

"I have to get to my car… really quickly. I'll be there with you."

Even though the man had moved, Soap stayed still for what seemed like a few minutes to him. Everything had slowed down, and he could not believe that this was the outcome from the war. Captain Price was finally dead.

When he felt more aware of his surroundings again, he looked back and saw the man bringing out a picture frame of a smiling, proud Captain Ben Price. He could feel the deep sorrow the man had felt as he brought it out.

* * *

Soap had arrived to the hospital room with Price's son in law, and saw the wife of Captain Price and the daughter were crying, as well as their grandchildren. He saw the now dead Captain Price, who was almost covered completely in pink blanket. Soap could feel tears coming out of his eyes. He had never felt this sorrowful in his life, and wondered why, of all people, that someone who had saved his life had to go.

"Mrs. Price…?" Soap began as she turned her attention towards him, realizing it was the same man she had met earlier, "I'm… so sorry."

"Mr. MacTavish…" She cried, and couldn't help but cry even more.

Looking at everyone in tears had finally released tears out of his eyes. The man who had risked his life to save those who were close to him, those who had fought with him, had finally passed away. The once proud, strong-willed Captain Ben Price was now an angel who would watch over those that he would be looking over to. Whether he was still alive or dead, he would still be the same person that everyone knew.

Soap stayed with the family to give them emotional comfort as he sat down on a chair nearby, drying most of his tears. He knew that crying out loud in front of the family that loved the dead man would be impolite and inappropriate, so he had to hold them back.

* * *

He had once again seen sorrow the Price family. Once in the morning, now in the time of his death. The Price family decided to stay in the hospital while Soap decided to buy flowers for his dead captain. As soon as he reached the car, however, he suddenly felt rather tired, so he decided to take ten minutes to sleep for a little bit in his car. He took out his cell phone and set the timer to ring out the alarm in ten minutes. He then dozed off and fell asleep inside his car…

* * *

_Soap had looked around his surroundings. He had no idea where he was, but there were trees, waterfalls, a lake, everything was just perfect. Paradise for mankind._

_However, he saw another man, probably around his age, approach him._

"_So… you must be MacTavish eh? The guy who kicked that bastard Zakhaev's ass." He asked._

"_Um… That's right. Who might you be?" Soap wondered, cocking his eyebrow a bit._

"_I'm a USMC marine who fought against Al Asad's forces… Sergeant Paul Jackson." The man introduced himself, "and I found out what happened to your captain not too long ago."_

_Soap looked down in sorrow, and gave out a large sigh._

"_Look man. Your companion dies… but that's what war is all about, isn't it? Most of the marines that I grew up and trained with all died too… So I know what you mean." Jackson blurted, in an attempt to break Soap out of his sorrow just a little bit._

"_Sorry to hear about your marines, mate… especially Staff Sergeant Griggs. He saved my life too." Soap replied._

"_That's no problem… but look. Captain Price, or whoever he was. Sure, he risked his life to save you, but haven't you also risked yours too?" Jackson added, "Besides, I don't think it would matter whether he's dead or not right now. If he was alive, he'd be proud of you for saving the lives of millions of people that would've been at risk out there. If he was dead, he'd still be proud of you because you'd fill in his rank as the captain and take command of his squad… he'd be happy that you've grown a lot as a soldier, don't you think?"_

_Soap had thought about this for a little bit, realizing that what Jackson was trying to say was true. Still, the pang of sadness would still hit him._

"_Yeah… but pride wouldn't mean anything. What about those people who looked up to him as not just a superior military personnel, but also just as a person himself? I mean, his grandchildren would have been viewing him as a role model to them." Soap said, with some sense of guilt in his mind._

"_That's just like me, you know? My daughter, Rhoda, viewed me as someone she can look up to. Not because I'm a soldier though. She thought of me as someone who was brave, strong hearted, and motivated. You don't have to be a soldier to be looked up at, you know?"_

"_Yeah… Captain Price was just like you too. Again, he risked his life to save everyone, obviously showing courage within him."_

"_Exactly. Man, I can understand that you're really pissed off, and all, but one day I hope you realize that in a few years, the death of your captain isn't something you should dread about… at least not 100% of it. You have to be happy you met him, and the fact that he was someone you looked up to. You just happened to be the one tin soldier riding away from the battlefield, so what? Besides, him saving your life… that's something you should be thankful for, not crying for."_

_The US marine knew much more than Soap did… he was wise as Captain Price and Gaz. He knew that he must take all these lessons to heart, and that the death of his companions that saved their lives was not something to be depressed about completely. It was something he had to remember them for. It would be natural to be sad, but he knew that this could not be haunting him forever._

"_Thanks… sergeant Jackson. I guess this is how you got over the death of your marines, right?" Soap thanked._

"_Well, it took time for me to realize that lessons to heart. Besides, I didn't learn that by myself. Lieutenant Vasquez was the one that taught me. I was probably just as sad as you were when I couldn't see my family anymore." Jackson replied._

"_I see… again, thanks for your words of wisdom. I…"_

* * *

The alarm on his cell phone rang, instantly waking Soap up.

He had finally learned a lesson in life, and a lesson to finally get over the fact that his comrades were dead. All this time, he had feared to admit that they were dead and he was upset. Now, he accepted that they were no longer on the faces of the earth and he was morose, he finally felt better and felt no feeling of remorse.

Soap began the engine in his car. Even though feelings of grief for the death of Captain Price was still there, Soap thought things were going to get better faster for him. He rode down the street, looking for a flower to honour him with.

* * *

So that's the end of that story. However, before I go, I leave you with a song that my friend sang (and me playing drums) during the Remembrance Day assembly at my school.

**One Tin Soldier – Written by Original Caste**

_Listen children to a story_

_That was written long ago_

_About a kingdom on a mountain_

_And the valley folk below_

_On the mountain was a treasure_

_Buried deep beneath a stone_

_And the valley people swore,_

_They'd have it for their very own._

_(Chorus)_

_Go ahead and hate your neighbour,_

_Go ahead and cheat a friend,_

_Do it in the name of heaven,_

_You can justify it in the end_

_There won't be any trumpets blowing,_

_Come the judgement day,_

_On the bloody morning after…_

_One tin soldier rides away._

_So the people of the valley_

_Sent a message up the hill_

_Asking for the buried treasure_

_Tons of gold for which they'd kill_

_Came an answer from the kingdom,_

"_With our brothers we will share_

_All the secrets of our mountain_

_All the riches buried there."_

_Now the valley cried with anger,_

"_Mount your horses, draw your swords!"_

_And they killed the mountain people,_

_Showed they won their just reward_

_Now they stood beside the treasure on the mountain dark and red,_

_Turned the stone and looks beneath it,_

"_Peace on Earth"_

_Was all it said._

_(Chorus)_

* * *

**The End**

_**Alright, that's the end of Soap's Sorrow, hope you guys enjoyed this short little project of mine!**__** And Happy Holidays!**_


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